Feeding My (Student-less) Soul

In a small community, certain job opportunities only open once in a great while, and so begins the reason I left the classroom. With a recently issued masters, my decision to leave my eleventh grade students made much more time for my young family; however, it did not take long for me to feel the absence of my students. Serving as an educator truly is a calling that no paycheck can match. No longer was I greeted daily with smiling, eager faces nor were there the frequent thank-you notes discovered when I most needed rejuvenation. Of course, I told myself that by working with teachers, I was going to be able to impact more classrooms, more students' lives. (I told myself again and again.)

However, such an impact doesn't happen on its own. I relished every chance I had to work with teachers and found myself continually offering my services in an effort to wiggle back into the classroom and see the impact first-hand. But the professional development computer lab is not a classroom where I controlled the curriculum any longer. Right or wrong, I found myself feeling underutilized and undervalued. I went into education to make a difference. Was I still making one? How could I measure that? What was happening when teachers left a "training" and heading back into the wild? 

What could I learn from so many great educators I had discovered through AzTEA, ISTE conferences, and social media who were now serving in the same capacity? Stop the pity party and do something about it.

To feed my soul, I had to ask: What did I love about teaching teenagers? Those who have been in the classroom know that it certainly wasn't the paycheck, long hours, or red-tape. It absolutely wasn't hoarding writing utensils to take back to the classroom, begging for donations, or hauling stacks of papers to and from my car. I lived for watching lightbulbs ignite, proud moments of success, and seeing children blossom into young men and women. I especially welcomed having those apathetic, disengaged, often unwanted students because of the challenge. I recognized the potential for growth and change, and I was energized when they saw what could be. While I "taught" language arts, I knew my lessons were beyond content and lifelong. So what could I take from my years as a high school educator into my new role working with teachers? Ultimately, I still needed to help realize dreams, assist in making them happen, and showcase those achievements. 

This year, amid all my employer-listed responsibilities and family commitments, I decided to work with teachers who are embracing educational technology, provide them with assistance, and showcase their efforts. Receiving kudos are always welcomed in a world where acknowledgments are seldom shared, and in this information age, we can certainly learn from and connect with our hard-working colleagues. We need inspiration, ideas, and examples on our best and worst days. Many educators are not self-promoting or key marketers, and if I can help to share their ideas, then I should. If I can offer accolades on a larger scale, then I must. Another blog amid the many? Yes.

Even though I have composed hundreds of blog posts in my head, this is my inaugural attempt at blogging, and I am sure it will evolve and improve. (+Kyle Pace did tell me to just start, and I am sure the handful of readers will offer their two cents!) I wanted my students to jump in; I need to walk the talk. Expect to see some educators highlighted who hail from my area peppered with my own reflections and musings. I welcome connections, feedback, and opportunities. While I know I am beginning with a handful of readers, and in no way a following, there is always the hope that one post can matter to at least one person.

In the end, it does seem a bit silly that it took me a few years to give myself advice that I would have quickly delivered to my students, but I do know sometimes the solutions come about after a bit of struggle. I am just beginning my journey, and I honestly cannot say where it will take me. Yet I am learning to be more flexible by taking control. Somewhat paradoxical, but that is life, no?

My first year as a teacher (dress your homeroom teacher challenge).